Yes, like every domesticated male of our species, I am in charge of ironing at home. They are the sole reason why we can use automatic washers and dryers and even vacuum cleaners but never irons. Let me explain this a bit more in detail. Of course, chronologically the years can add on, but I shouldn’t show those tell-tale signs of ageing: like the old people smell, not knowing when I am drooling while sitting about, or most pertinently, when I start judging young people for their hairstyles or choice of music, or my lady for her dressing sense.The writer is a lover of wine, song and everything fine.In fact, not just the dresses that she buys but right down to the designers who fashion clothes out of plain fabric, it should ideally be whetted by us men before being released as their fall/winter collections: if it can’t be ironed on a simple 2X4 plank, it should not be allowed to exist. It would completely warp the surface, not to mention the senses, as these three layers now wrap around a fourth one. I wish to never be that.

That’s right.Look at my suits, my shirts and socks, trousers and ties. Time is not the fourth dimension, pleats are. Pleats. Why, some of my jackets don’t even wrinkle that much no matter how long they stay in my suitcase. That little seemingly harmless fold of fabric that provides shape and fall to our garments is the bane of my pre-Saturday night out rituals.It might seem trivial at first, but ironing clothes — both their own and their partner’s — is a task men take very seriouslyWhen I pray (ever) I always make it a point to ask God not to make me one of those people who grow old. That’s right: sartorial creativity should only be limited by its ability to be ironed smooth by a man of simple composition. The space-time continuum is like a smooth fabric in three dimensions that stretches infinitely in every direction. He promises to not object to how short it is provided it doesn’t fold around and into itself a million times.

That is the ultimate sign that age is taking its toll on us. Even my boxers can be ironed easily. Why Because, as (proudly) stated above, it is on my shoulders that the massive responsibility of ensuring that my partner and I look pristinely wrinkle-free rests. Pleats have a way of confusing the dimensions.And some of you may think me whipped for taking up this topic so seriously but that is not so at all; for once, we both agree that I am indeed Ironman. But a dress, oh one dainty little seat belt across and they seem to wrinkle permanently like an over-ripe prune. Because it would take a super computer to completely render an evening gown creaseless. I want to age like China Camouflage Fabric manufacturers George Clooney, minus all the media attention.But even while I am still young-ish, I feel that it is within my rights to comment on the clothing that my partner buys, based purely on how easy it will be to iron.So, ladies, next time you go shopping allow your man the small veto right for dresses that need a lab-full of scientists to iron out. Now imagine a fourth dimension being introduced into this mix. Minkowski was wrong when he suggested that time is the fourth dimension. We cannot look like we crawled out of bed straight into dinner. I know so many guys who chase every mini set and then when they settle down with one, immediately ordain her to wear nothing that reveals more skin than a skin suit.

Guardiola would not be drawn on that situation.Sterling restored City’s lead in the 50th minute, touching in Angelino’s cross, but Oxford took charge for a 20-minute spell in which they outplayed their illustrious guests..City have dominated the League Cup under Guardiola but rarely have they been tested quite like they were by Oxford who managed 18 goal attempts, more than any side against City since the Spaniard took charge.City keeper Claudio Bravo made a succession of saves but substitute Gabriel Jesus broke clear and squared for Sterling to seal it in the 70th minute — his 18th goal of the season for his club.They were caught napping, however, when Matty Taylor rammed home an equaliser 22 seconds into the second half. Liverpool’s senior players were all in action on Wednesday in their FIFA Club World Cup victory over Monterrey.”Oxford manager Karl Robinson said he was “frustrated” that his side had not taken their chances.

Manchester City remained on course to lift the League Cup for a third successive season after overcoming third-tier Oxford United 3-1 on Wednesday and will face Manchester United in the semi-finals.”Leicester led with first-half goals by James Maddison and Jonny Evans but Tom Davies halved the deficit before a Leighton Baines screamer made it 2-2 in the 90th minute.Of a two-legged semi-final in January, United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer said: “Fantastic days in Manchester.“We play against a top side so congratulations for the team, young players and the victory. At 2-1 they play long balls with throw-ins, corners and we struggled but it’s okay, we knew before we came here,” Guardiola said.“I am really pleased with the players but my last thought tonight will be ‘what could have been’.City made eight changes to the team that beat Arsenal on Sunday and lacked their usual authority but they did take the lead in the 22nd minute with Joao Cancelo’s deflected effort.

United were frustrated for 51 minutes at Old Trafford by fourth-tier Colchester United but England striker Marcus Rashford broke the resistance and an own goal by Ryan Jackson and one for Anthony Martial took the hosts to a 3-0 win.Leicester are in the League Cup semi-finals for the first time since the 1999-2000 campaign, when they won the trophy.Everton’s hopes of a glorious comeback victory in Duncan Ferguson’s third game as caretaker manager went flat, though, as Kasper Schmeichel made two saves in the shootout.Mikel Arteta, favourite to get the vacant Arsenal job, took his place next to Guardiola on the City bench in what could be his final game as assistant manager.“We suffered a lot in the second half.”Leicester City squandered a 2-0 lead to draw 2-2 at Everton but moved through to Polyester Minimatt Fabric Suppliers the semi-finals after Jamie Vardy scored the decisive spot-kick in the penalty shootout. You always want to win trophies and games and we have a nice little draw coming up, exciting times ahead.Brendan Rodgers’s side will face Midlands rivals Aston Villa in the semi-finals after Villa beat a virtual Liverpool youth team 5-0 on Tuesday.